I got a lot of overwhelming feedback on my post about “The Circular Life”. While I try to keep this a positive place, life cannot be positive all the time, and this post is coming from the same place as the one before.
We always want the best for our kids. Naturally. And through lots of deep conversations with my dad, thinking, analyzing and soul searching I’ve determined that the best and most important gift we can give our children is the gift of time. Time with us, time with their grandparents. Give them the chance to see where they came from, what their roots look like. It seems like people that were close to their grandparents have happier and more fulfilling childhoods than those who’s grandparents were less involved.
And observing my parents with their grandkids I can assure you – time with their grandchildren is the best gift we can give our parents. (Come on, they’re already always asking for it!!! It’s pretty straight forward)
This is why – before I even met my husband, I knew I wanted to have my first child by the age of 25. My dad has said a lot of things to me that have planted themselves deep within my soul. One of them was – “I wanted to have you before I was too old. So that I would have the energy to play with you, and teach you, and be there for you and watch you grow up and see my grandkids”. It’s obvious, but how many of us think about that when it comes to “planning” kids?
It seems like today – children are just another item on a long list of things one must do for a perfect and happy life. First – college, then job, then engagement, then wedding (with Save the Date cards!!!). Then you buy the right house… And by this time the ladies are well into their 30s and are getting some kind of fertility treatments. Of course – this isn’t everyone. But it seems to be a prevalent theme.
And you know what – having a baby, and then a toddler (and I’m sure a preschooler, tween-teenager-etc) is EXHAUSTING!!! And from what I suspected and am hearing – the older you are – the more exhausting it is!
I also hate how in this country people are so tied to their jobs in the geographical sense. You are already getting the least amount of vacations compared to the rest of the world, and families usually break up early on. Once a child is off to college – which is often in another state – it is totally common place to see your parents twice a year – Thanksgiving and Christmas. That is until you start seriously dating someone and then alternate those holidays at the different parents’ homes. The possibility of that really depresses me.
And then – if for some reason you end up living with your parents later on in life – that’s seen as a sign of failure. I can’t stomach that either.
I think there is nothing (NOTHING) more important than spending every day that you can with the people you love. Not after they are sick, not when they are about to die, but while everyone is healthy, happy and capable of enjoying life to the fullest.
Don’t come to my grave because of your regrets. Lets enjoy life together while we’re both still kickin’!