It seems like every generation goes through cycles – everyone starts dating around the same time, all your friends are getting married within a few years of each other, I guess we have now entered the baby cycle =) Everyone is either having one, already has one, or trying to have one. And it seems to be the conversation topic that automatically surfaces whenever I am catching up with old friends from what has now turned into all over the world: various parts of the States and Russia. Of course there are always exceptions from these cycles, but there still seems to be a prevalent communal thought :”babies, babies babies…”
So. Not all our friends know the news yet, and instead of the baby topic coming up because I’m sharing the news with them, it comes up because they are telling me how they have been trying to have a baby for so long, and it’s still not happening. And I know there are all kinds of stories and situations, if there weren’t we wouldn’t have IVF and a whole huge industry built around trying to have kids. But of course – it’s different when it’s someone you know. And so, how am I supposed to tell these people – “sorry you’re having such a hard time and are about to start trying fertility drugs, I guess you just suck because we made it happen on the first try without even really trying, despite all my problems and the doc telling me I only had a 7% chance of getting pregnant, instead of a 15% one like all normal women”… I don’t want to rub it in! I’m sure it is awful, to try and try and try. And you really only get 12 tries a year! In our generation of instant gratification that must really be horrible.
And these are just the super close friends that are sharing their woes with me, what about others? What if someone is dealing with this burden, and I can only imagine how stressful and frustrating it must be, and that stress is only making the problem worse, and here I am all cheerio – “look at me getting all big! Oh and here, listen to all these horrible things I’ve been suffering through, enjoy your life while you still can!”
That is like the most awful thing to hear! It’s like when someone JUST broke up with someone, and you don’t even know it yet, and you’re telling them you’re getting engaged… Ouch!!!
So having realized that, now I don’t want to tell anyone at all!!!!!!!! Unless they already have a child and it’s obvious that everything is functioning properly in that department. =\
Sorry to drop such a heavy post on you guys around the weekend, but now I’m all concerned.
Maybe someone is dealing with a similar situation? What are your thoughts??