We’ve had a pretty busy weekend, and before I realized it – here is Wednesday, and I feel like I’m behind, especially since I still have so much to share.
As my first trimester is coming to an end in the next week (yay!) I wanted to sum up my experience so far.
And at this point I can wholeheartedly say – the first trimester is the WORST. Hopefully I won’t be saying that for each following trimester.
The first trimester is just so awkward.
Maybe it’s just me, but when I think of a “pregnant woman”, she’s got to be relaxed, calm, definitely with a significant couch-pillow-sized belly… Certainly not a skinny, scared, miserable, puking little lady, which was exactly how I felt.
In the beginning, everything is too far ahead to start making life changes, and just overall it seems so surreal and unbelievable. The doctor didn’t even want to see me until week 9. Well, he would have seen me earlier, but thanks to the holidays and our travel plans it was two months of me refusing to believe the news until I had some concrete scientific medical proof. =)
Because at-home pregnancy tests may have a 99% accuracy, that still wasn’t good enough for me!
And even the morning sickness and constant fatigue was not convincing enough..
I was living this strange side of pregnancy I never expected. This odd limbo land, nothing is for sure, but I am already paranoid of everything, can’t really tell people yet, and just generally unsure what to do with this potentially life changing information.
And the growth of the baby, illustrated through various fruit, is so slow!
Poppy seed to apple seed, to small lentil to kidney bean in 2 months. My nails grow faster than that!
And of course, it is absolutely terrifying! How can I possibly be a mom? I know it’s what I wanted since I was 12, but look at me, how could I possibly be responsible for another human being, if even my tiny cactus on the fridge rotted out!!! Yikes! What if my kid doesn’t like me??? What if, what if what if… Am I really going to grow a whole watermelon inside??? What about stretchmarks!!! *Arms flailing in the air, running around with shrieks of panic* Labor?! I don’t even want to think about it. And thanks to these pregnancy books that I of course want to read because I am going to be an educated mommy – I am now also afraid of hemorrhoids, heartburn, fainting, terrible gas ( =\\\\\!!!), developing weird patches on my skin, getting hairy all over, and the list just goes on and on.
I started having weird dreams almost immediately. I usually have very elaborate and interesting dreams, but now they’re just plain WEIRD! I don’t even know how to describe it. At least my husband always profusely apologizes whenever I wake up from fits of jealousy :) poor guy.
Now, on to the next part. My doctor told me – “Any pain that doesn’t go away on its own is unusual”.
I was slightly concerned by such a forecast. That’s very unspecific. All pain will eventually go away if one dies from it! But back then I thought – pain, what pain? I’ve heard that there are some discomforts that go along with my current “situation”, but no one really says anything about the pain aside from the whole ordeal of labor.
And there is so much random pain that came along!!!
My joints started hurting within the first few weeks, especially my knees. My tailbone hurts every now and then, which makes it hard to sometimes walk, sit, and sleep.
I feel like there are firework displays going on in my stomach, or like little balloons racing on a go-cart track, going really fast. And I can feel them piling up at each turn of my intestines and exploding. And when that is happening – it hurts to breathe, move, etc. All that ensured for a less than cheerie mood during all the new year festivities, combined with being the sober one among happy drunk people, and not wanting to deal with all the attention of an official announcement of our new family situation.
Shooting pain, leg cramps, my wisdom teeth started growing like they never had before, headaches… And no real medicine to turn to aside from cartoons and popsicles!
My closest friends from back home and I agreed that it is SO annoying when pregnant women constantly write about what the baby has developed this week, fingernails, eyelids, etc. But they did say they want to follow along with the growth, so we agreed I would post a fruit picture every week, for those in the know! ;)
Now, at week 13, we are the size of a peach! And I’ve developed a serious craving for peaches, I have to go to the store every few days and buy another pound! At least we have delicious peaches over here!
The nausea is slowly going away, the energy seems to be returning! I’m figuring out how to cope with the headaches and the light-headedness, as well as getting used to the physical discomforts. No turning back anyway.
At this point I am inclined to strongly believe that it gets better!!! I feel like we are at a legit milestone, and life seems to be taking on its new shape. We have our next appointment next week, and we plan on officially revealing the news in the next few weeks! It’s on!