Check out the previous post in case you missed the first part of my labor.
And let me continue where I left off – with an epidural, finally being able to actually think and not be using all my capacities just to feel the pain. Starting to get excited – I would be meeting my baby in just a few hours, getting to see the face of the guy who had been eating my food and stretching my belly for the past 9 months! Trying not to worry about how I would be able to manage with 2 little guys, etc.
The epidural is doing it’s job, the nurse – hers. The liquids are dripping into my iv, we’re flipping through tv channels, nothing exciting. Eventually, when I’ve had a good dose of the antibiotics, (remember, the group B Strep?) we decided it was time to break my water. I hear a weak little “sooo much blooood” from my husband (who didn’t even think of passing out! =) and then we wait some more. I know the contractions are still happening, but thanks to my epidural – I’m not having any discomfort – which was a new feeling for me, since I didn’t get to experience that last time. I was waiting for that “urge to push” but all I was getting was some kind of ridiculous pressure accumulating over my butt. After a while it felt like I was growing an extra appendage out of there! And eventually I started complaining about the pain, they started moving me around to try and tweak the epidural and also gave me the little button to push, but soon one nurse took pity over me (I guess because I was pushing it so much – it was clear – it wasn’t meeting my expectations) and told me the button is more for a placebo effect.
And after a brief while the midwife was back in our room, and asked me how I was doing, told her about the pressure, she said – the only way to get rid of it is to PUSH!
Sorry, but this part is a bit anticlimactic – I think I did a couple of pushes with the midwife there, but then she left and the nurse was walking me through it. When a contraction would start – I was supposed to hold my breath and push for a count of 10, then breathe and push again, 3 times total. Problem was – the nurse was doing other stuff in the room and not looking at my contractions, which – I can count to 10 by myself, it’s fine. But often I would be pushing, and already be on 5, she would realize that I was pushing and start counting, from 1 of course. So annoying!!! Eventually my husband read my mind and would start counting for me =) I wish they had gone over a bit more on how I should be pushing – since clearly that wasn’t something I was good at last time. After a while I realized I could push not just with my abs (I was already trying not to push with my neck/face) but also with my lower back muscles, and that’s when things really started to pick up pace.
Everyone kept coming in the room and saying “wooow! You can see the head, look at all that hair!” And I would think to myself – “thanks for pointing that out, my waxing appointment was set for next week, didn’t expect him to be so early!”. I had to listen to that again and again. =) Of course none of them knew my internal conflict, but still! I really wanted to push well because 1) if that was how I could get rid of that pressure – I was in on that plan, 2) I didn’t want to have an assisted birth because I was afraid of those complications 3) Getting really excited about meeting my baby by this point! But at the same time I didn’t want to push too fast as I’ve heard – that’s when you’re most likely to tear. (Ok, so – tearing is the least of childbirth problems, but something I wasted so much time worrying about..)
And then the blue body suits came out, the doc/midwife got the clear mask on her face, the baby bed was prepped. I remember looking at that baby bed when we got in the room and it was just so surreal that before the day was over I would create someone to occupy that bed! No one here yet, but he’ll be sleeping in it tonight! So weird!!! Right? =) It was starting to get really exciting in that delivery room! I was hoping that I wouldn’t bust any capillaries in my face this time – so I could look better in the pictures =) People were starting to rush in.. And then we had a little scare, which everyone was very nonchalant about and I really appreciate that. His heart rate was dropping with the contractions, I thought – oh no! Not like last time! We’ve come so far!!! They turned me a little bit sideways, I pushed some more, the doctor was “helping me” by pushing with her fingers I’m not exactly sure where, but it did not feel good and made me want to push more efficiently so we could be done faster (guess it worked). Aaaaaand…