Oh wise internet, show me the answer.
After a week of flying solo and keeping two little humans alive there is one issue that I just don’t know how to deal with. How can I effectively get my two (and now – a half) year old to..
shut his mitt, bring the volume down on his vocal chords???
Oh dear little man. I get it, you get excited, I’m a cool person to be around and sometimes you can’t contain it. And you know – you’re growing, your brain is wiring, sometimes you can’t deal with the small disappointments in life and it overtakes you. Sure. I can deal with oh, so many things. Spill stuff on the floor I just washed, dirty up the clothes I just pulled out of the laundry, throw around everything I just folded, refuse a single bite of the dinner I cooked, DON’T EVER let me go to the bathroom by myself, pretend I don’t exist when I’m asking you to clean up your toys, … all that – I’ll take, ok. But – when I just finally got your little brother to sleep – and you keep yelling after I’ve asked you not to 3 times and sent you to a time out for it… I’m left to chose between a roll of duct tape and taking you to IKEA for half the day, dropping you off at their play place thing and enjoying 15 cups of tea upstairs while I sit by the window in that cafe and look at cars drive by. (Actually, the Emeryville IKEA has a gorgeous view!)
You know what, maybe I’ll do that! I’ll put it on the agenda for next week! Because that has got to be cheaper than joining that posh gym with the awesome childcare room.
P.S. Stupid neighbors upstairs – apparently you have a better baby monitoring system than I do because somehow you always know EXACTLY when I get them both to sleep. And that is when you start your stompathon. The walls shake, the lamps swing back and forth… I swear to whatever deities you worship – if I wasn’t so exhausted – I’d march up there and break your legs so you don’t stomp anymore, or at least throw a cold drink in your face – so you’d experience some degree of discomfort. But that would also be setting a bad example for my kids.
P.P.S. I guess my true question to you mamas is – how the hell do you get this frustration out – when you can’t drink? Or if you can – how do you not become an alcoholic? I don’t want to turn crazy!!!
I love my kids to bits, of course, but seriously!